


How To Show You I Love You (Without Saying It)

by myheroesrbands



Series: BakodaFleetWeek 2020 [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 5+1 Things, BakodaFleetWeek, Like, Love Languages, M/M, Pining, a lot of pining, bakodafleetweek day 4, through the years as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25623547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheroesrbands/pseuds/myheroesrbands
Summary: 5 times Bato’s acts of service bore his love for Hakoda. And 1 time Hakoda’s need for physical affection admitted his love for Bato.
Relationships: Bato/Hakoda (Avatar)
Series: BakodaFleetWeek 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852546
Comments: 7
Kudos: 100
Collections: Bakoda Fleet Week 2020





	How To Show You I Love You (Without Saying It)

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out to be much longer than I expected ! I hope you all enjoy this one ! (As is the case with most of my works, this is unbeta-ed)

Bato never feared that his love for Hakoda was obvious. As a kid, he didn’t know any different way to show his love other than to be as dutiful as possible. That was the one and only thing he learned from his father (and something Hakoda’s father had [in a more ideal manner] instilled in him as well) — that if you’re doing nothing, then you’re doing something wrong. 

As an adult who understood himself on a deeper level, it was easier for Bato to look back on his life and identify points where he’d definitely been professing his love for Hakoda even if (and especially when) the other man couldn’t see it. 

**_1._ **

“He’s sleeping in,” Kanna spoke as she welcomed Bato into her home. They were teenagers then, and Hakoda’s father hadn’t been killed yet, and Bato rarely pictured Hakoda doing something as mundane as  _ sleeping in.  _

“Does Sokkos need anything?” He asked and moved with Kanna into the kitchen to help prepare whatever lunch she was getting ready to whip up. 

Kanna sounded a negative and moved to grab seaweed and a pot for boiling water. “Help me with this will you dear?” She asked and Bato dutifully moved to help her prepare the seaweed noodles. Cooking with Kanna was one of his favorite pastimes and honestly he thought Hakoda definitely should have spent more time in the kitchen with his mother. 

For Bato and Kanna, having a routine was important. They spent a great amount of time, significantly during Bato’s teenage years, building the routine that Bato would hunt and cut while Kanna cooked and brewed. While it seemed like something a mother a son would do, Bato was just as much her son as Hakoda was and Kanna definitely cherished the time they got to spend together. 

While they were waiting for the noodles to boil, Sokkos grumbled his way through the door. Bato knew he should have stopped doing it years ago, but he was immediately on his feet, sharp at attention. Sokkos’ impression of him was always important and Bato never wanted the older man to think he was incompetent or ungrateful for being welcomed into their family. 

“Bato!” Sokkos greeted him warmly. A heavy hand slammed against Bato’s shoulder, and he winced only slightly at the impact. “I see you’re helping my absolutely lovely,” he reached down to press a kiss to Kanna’s cheek before continuing, “wife cook some lunch.

“She didn’t burn anything this time did she?” He playfully asked Bato who smiled softly as Kanna smacked Sokkos’ arm. 

“No sir,” Bato said as he found his voice. He moved to step out of the kitchen before Sokkos spoke up again. 

“Hey, I was going to take Hakoda fishing, but he’s still sleeping so it’s no problem if I go by myself. Do you need anything in particular dear?” He asked Kanna and smiled when she shook her head in response. 

Now, Bato had gone on several fishing trips with Sokkos but there had never been a trip where it was  _ just  _ the two of them. Bato knew Hakoda would hate to miss out on the opportunity for some time alone with his dad. But he also knew that Sokkos definitely shouldn’t have to go fishing alone. 

“I’ll go,” he volunteered after a short beat of silence. 

“Bato, it’s truly no big deal son.” Sokkos was shaking his head and some snow that had fallen into his hair began to shake into the surrounding air. He watched Kanna blink in surprise as a droplet of snow fell on her nose. 

Bato, now firm in his stance, shook his head and went to grab his overcoat and boots. “I’d love to come,” he said and heard Sokkos’ gruff laugh at a comment Kanna made. In a moment, Sokkos was standing near the door, two fishing rods in hand. 

“Well?” he asked and Bato nodded. He bade Kanna farewell and went out to fish with Hakoda’s father. 

He later realized that that was the moment. The moment he realized that he loved Hakoda so much that he’d volunteer his time to fish with his father  _ without a second thought. Because he knew that it was for the good of the family and because he knew that there was a duty to be performed.  _

**_2._ **

The second time Bato registers he realized how he shows his affection for Hakoda happens when they’re in their mid twenties. Kya hadn’t entered their lives yet, and Hakoda had been Chief of their tribe for about 7 years. Bato had enjoyed watching the other man grow from a young, reckless teenager to a responsible, and well-thought young man. (Of course this was also  _ Hakoda  _ whom he was speaking of so there would always be some of that recklessness that would stick with him for the rest of his life.)

Bato was staying over. And really, Hakoda wondered sometimes, when was Bato  _ not  _ staying over at his home. Kanna had banned Hakoda from the kitchen about three years ago (because  _ How the hell did you manage to burn  _ fish  _ Hakoda? You delicately handle it after a catch. What’s so hard about  _ cooking  _ it?)  _ so Bato was on helping with cooking duty. 

He was no stranger to cooking. He loved it actually, and cooking for those important to him later became something that was incredibly important to him. 

For dinner this night, Kanna felt like having a bit of fun in the kitchen. She was boiling Five Flavored Soup and had also prepared a few plates of dried fish. Bato was helping out with the Five Flavored Soup when he remembered that Hakoda couldn’t go too long without having some sea prunes in his dinner. 

He was lucky that Kanna had some left over sea prunes waiting to be cooked, so he went about preparing the dish for Hakoda. He cooked up a lot more than was absolutely necessary, but he knew how Hakoda would get when he’d get some sea prunes (and the man also never seemed to stop eating so no matter how much he and Kanna ate, Hakoda would definitely finish it off).

As they sat in the eating area, Bato smiled to himself as he watched Hakoda’s eyes light up in joy when the brewed prunes were sat in front of him. 

Okay, maybe he thought about that smile for too many days following that one, but Bato was the one to put that there. He would always remember that. 

**_3._ **

The third time doesn’t happen  _ at once.  _ It’s after Kya’s death and Bato has taken to caring for the entire family — making sure the kids are prepared for their lessons, making sure that Hakoda is eating and sleeping and consuming something that isn’t  _ only  _ alcohol, and making sure that Kanna isn’t taking on too much of a heavy load in the village  _ and  _ in her home. 

He was wearing himself ragged. And he didn’t get to grieve Kya on his own. She’d been his best friend, the only person that knew about how he felt about Hakoda and didn’t have a problem with it. She’d been the only person in their village that actually made sure he cared for  _ himself  _ when things were getting shitty with his duties as Hakoda’s second-in-command. 

Missing Kya became second nature to him at some point. There was always a dull pain in his heart when he thought of her, and when he looked at Sokka, Katara, and Hakoda, and when he went to buy seal jerky from a local merchant. She was all around him.

But he found that the best way to really channel his grief was to work. He cleaned Hakoda’s house before the man even thought of leaving his bed. He walked Katara through some bending tricks he remembered seeing his mother do before she was taken in a raid. He picked up Sokka’s boomerang lessons because the kid definitely had a knack for the weapon instead of any other. 

It’s after he’s gone to pick up Sokka and Katara from their lessons one day that Bato actually talks with them about the state of their family. 

“You two don’t mind me being around your house this much do you?” he asked them, the both of them standing on either side of his body, their own heads only barely reaching his hands. 

“Of course not uncle Bato!” Katara’s high-pitched voice replied and Sokka scoffed. Bato questionably turned to the boy. 

“It’s not that I just,” he kicked some snow at his feet, watching three otter penguins waddle past them. “I just wish dad would come out sometimes.”

Bato sighed and knelt down in the snow to look at Sokka. “Your father,” he started. This was a tough thing to put into words. Especially to put into words for a ten-year-old boy to understand, but Bato had to do it. “Your father loved your mother very much. Losing her, feels like losing himself in a way,” he explained. “Do you understand?” 

Sokka kicked at the snow again before locking eyes with Bato and nodding. “But we miss her too,” he mumbled. “And we want him to be here,” he continued and looked at Katara who was now looking at the snow. 

They were standing outside their home, so they didn’t have to worry about people traffic but at that moment, Bato  _ wished  _ someone would walk past to help him not have to say what he was going to say.

“And I think he knows that. But he just  _ can’t  _ will himself to do it.” He knew he should have worded it better, but Bato felt like he was sparing the children a description of Hakoda’s  _ true  _ physical and mental state. “If it helps some, I’m here for you two. And I’m doing pretty alright right?” He attempted to lighten the mood.

Katara’s thin lipped smiled and Sokka’s furrowed eyebrows proved it didn’t work. 

“Okay, how about this,” he said and stood. “For today, I let you two go penguin-sledding while I take care of some things in the house.” He watched their faces brighten and was quick to continue, “Be back before sundown. You know the rules.” They bobbed their heads quickly, and he chuckled before seeing them off. 

Sighing to himself, Bato made his way inside Hakoda’s home. He began to do dishes and prepare dinner for the family. It only took an hour for him to have to stop — his emotions preventing him from going any further. He stood in the kitchen, hands on his knees as he felt tears stream down his face. His breathing had become rapid, and he felt himself losing his grip on the illusion of being put together. 

Before he hit the floor, he felt two arms grab his body and ease him to the ground. 

“You’ve done so much,” Hakoda was speaking in his ear. “Thank you.”

**_4._ **

The fourth time he realized he would do anything for Hakoda was when they were in the Earth Kingdom. They’d been away from the South Pole for almost two years and had been helping Earth Kingdom cities rid themselves of Fire Nation presence. 

Sometimes they were successful. Sometimes they lost men. Sometimes they were captured. It all varied. 

Through it all, one thing remained the same: they needed to  _ communicate  _ with the city officials in the Earth Kingdom. 

This was one thing Hakoda had  _ bad.  _ He sucked at drafting letters to be read over by his war table to be sent to the city officials. More often than not, the Water Tribe warriors would simply end up in liberating a city through fighting but never through discussing whether they were  _ welcome  _ in some of these cities. 

Bato knew Hakoda meant well when he was targeting cities occupied by Fire Nation soldiers, but he also understood that there were  _ politics  _ in war. 

Which was exactly how he found himself staying up late one night in his tent, reviewing a letter to a nearby Earth Kingdom city diplomat who would actually be expecting them this time. 

He had rubbed his eyes ten times in the last fifteen minutes and if he didn’t get out of this tent, he knew he’d be a goner. He moved to leave the tent, grabbing a spare tunic. 

Bato made his way to the coastal water and stripped himself of his clothes sans underwear. He dove into the water and found the midnight swim to be just what he needed to keep him awake. The full moon was high in the sky and from his place in the cool water, he could see the constellations that littered the night sky.

His hair moved with the waves in the water, and he allowed himself a moment to  _ breathe.  _ To sit back and  _ think  _ about the things he was doing. And more importantly,  _ why  _ he was doing them. 

After an hour in the water, Bato began to make his way back to shore where he’d left his clothes. Using the spare tunic, he hastily dried his body before redressing. He snagged a spare tie from the Chief’s tent to use for his hair (because Hakoda kept a  _ million  _ ties, and he slept like a platypus bear during hibernation) and then made his way back to his own tent where he finished the letter to be sent at dawn. 

Although he didn’t get much sleep that night, he arose earlier than the other warriors to make sure that he could catch an official messenger to send his message. 

When he and Hakoda were waiting for the council of warriors to enter the Chief’s tent at midday for a meeting, he quickly whispered, “I sent a letter last night to the city nearby. That way they’re expecting us.” 

Hakoda, eyebrows risen in surprise, smiled and thanked Bato for  _ always double-checking over my shoulder. _

**_5._ **

It’d been years since Bato realized that he was actually  _ in love  _ with Hakoda. He’d done things over the years that he’d never do for another warrior, let alone a woman. He’d looked after his family, he’d been there through the highs and the lows. And he’d been professing his love for the man for years. 

And it really caught up with him once the war ended that  _ maybe Hakoda  _ doesn’t know  _ how I feel about it.  _ If that were true, Bato settled, then he’d rather go the rest of his life pining after Hakoda if it meant their friendship would be intact. 

That was how he found himself venturing off on  _ yet another  _ trip to the northern Water Tribe to solidify deals. Hakoda hadn’t known that Bato would be taking this trip, and he kind of felt bad about leaving the man (but he  _ did  _ leave a note, so he hoped Hakoda wouldn’t tear his head off when he got back).

“We’ll be docking for fuel soon!” He heard one of the crewmen, Virrok he thought, yell from the front of the ship. “Fuel” meant they’d be docking for the night while people picked up supplies in the local town. The war had been over for three years and Bato hadn’t ventured back into the earth kingdom since then, so he was looking forward to seeing just how many things had changed (and if  ~~ his  ~~ the kids’ harmony restoration project was working well enough). 

Taking the night out on the town was exhilarating. Bato felt like a teenager as he wandered the streets of the city and watched the nightlife. There was still the faint sound of drilling that came with a lot of Earth Kingdom life now but it did little to actually dull his experience. 

The one thing that was missing was Hakoda. Hakoda who would have dragged him into whatever places were open just to look around and see what they had to offer. Hakoda who would have dragged him to the edge of the city, far from the ports, to look up at the clear night sky. Hakoda who would have ranted for hours about how beautiful the end of the war was. 

Hakoda who would have had a night  _ free  _ from all the political handling by the Elders and the Northern Water Tribe. 

_ This trip is for that,  _ he convinced himself as he lay on his bed in the boat, preparing to sleep. 

When the trip had finished, and he’d successfully established a free line of trade passage between the two tribes, Bato returned to the Southern Water tribe to be smothered by first two children (who were almost their father’s height now) and then by a man who was walking with a  _ cane?  _

Hakoda definitely had his words to say about Bato leaving without saying goodbye (and Bato definitely had more than enough words to say about Hakoda being  _ stabbed  _ while he was gone) but in the end, Hakoda was so glad that Bato had taken that extra weight off of his shoulders. 

Bato smiled, his chest swelling with love at the fact that he had done something to make his love happy. 

**_+1._ **

For the third time in a week, Hakoda awoke in the middle of the night with a gasp, feeling for his lower torso where he’d been stabbed by Gilak. The dream always started the same, he’d be looking at Katara and Sokka, smiling proudly at them and then their faces would morph into Gilak’s. And in moments, Gilak would be stabbing him repeatedly. Never letting up. He’d fall to the snow, except his back would never hit the  _ snow.  _ He’d just keep falling. And falling. And falling.

Until he woke up. 

Running a shaky hand over his face, Hakoda looked to his right — the empty space in his bed reminding him of how he’d not been held by another person he was in love with in  _ years.  _

Well, not in an intimate moment. 

Because there was someone he loved. And he was always held by that man. But never in the way he  _ wanted  _ to be held by him. 

Sighing to himself, Hakoda shakily stood from his bed and began to move. Grabbing an overcoat, boots, a few hair ties, and his cane, he left his home. He walked through the streets (which, his home having  _ streets?)  _ made his way out of his door and down to wear he knew Bato’s home would be. 

About five houses down from where his mother’s igloo sat in the middle of town.

Hakoda smiled to himself and shook his head — ever one to hang tight to tradition, his mother still hadn’t abandoned her igloo, their beloved home, and as much as he’d tease her for it, he was grateful. There were too many memories in that place to simply  _ give it all up.  _

He knocked on Bato’s door slowly, not sure if the man was even awake but still holding out hope. It didn’t take long for a light to turn on in the entryway and a door to open, revealing his  _ beautiful  _ best friend. 

Hakoda almost stumbled over his words but was relieved when Bato spoke. “Hey. Come in,” his voice was thick with sleep and the shirt he’d worn to sleep was rumpled against his body. Hakoda thickly swallowed as he stood in the entryway. 

“I know this is random but I just,” he hesitated. Shaking his head, Hakoda simply finished, “Cuddle?” and Bato smiled softly. His hair sat atop his head in disarray and Hakoda wanted nothing more than to run his hands through it to straighten it. 

“Come on,” Bato guided him around to his room where there was a huge bed sat in the middle. 

“Huge bed? You been having company over?” Hakoda asked as he stripped himself of his top layers of clothing. Bato scoffed from beside him and moved to lie down. 

“If company includes spirits,” he replied and his covers up in welcoming for Hakoda to climb under. Hakoda slid under the covers and cuddled up to Bato. 

“I’ve been having this really bad nightmare about Gilak.” He began to explain to Bato whose hands were rubbing soothing circles on Hakoda’s side. One of Hakoda’s hands was resting on Bato’s chest, right where a faint scar still rested from his burns. 

“Koda,” Bato’s voice warned. “You know that asshole was just spewing extremist bullshit.”

“I  _ know that  _ but I also know that he  _ stabbed me _ Bato.” Hakoda turned and sat up to meet Bato’s eyes. His hand never moved from its position on Bato’s chest. 

“And every time he stabs me, I’m falling in this black labyrinth. There’s nobody there for me. And when I wake up,” he looked down at his hand when he paused. Bato reached up rest his hand on Hakoda’s wrist. 

“When I wake up there’s no one there. There’s no Kya. No kids. No  _ you,”  _ he stressed and then looked into Bato’s eyes. His long eyelashes and crystal blue eyes were beautiful from where Hakoda was sitting. 

“And I know it’s silly of me but every time I touch you Bato,” he said and flipped his hand to capture Bato’s in his own through intertwined fingers. 

“Every time I touch you I feel so much safer,” he whispered and Bato’s eyes moved from their intertwined hands to Hakoda’s lips. 

“Shut up and kiss me,” Bato said and Hakoda’s eyebrows rose before he pressed forward to kiss Bato. 

It’d been so long since they last did this. They were really kids then. Exploring and experimenting with each other. But now they were grown men and Hakoda was swinging a leg over Bato’s body to sit in his lap. 

“Everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done because I love you,” Bato said between bated breaths when they pulled apart. 

“I went to the North for you because I love you. I cook for you because I love you. I took care of you and the kids after Kya’s death because I love you.” Hakoda’s eyes were filling with tears as Bato spoke, and he couldn’t help the shaky laugh that escaped his lips. 

“I’m supposed to be the sappy one,” he said and lightly slapped Bato’s chest. 

“And I love you for that too,” Bato said and reached up to kiss Hakoda again. 

***

It took time, but they got into a routine of understanding how they showed they love each other. Hakoda came to understand that whenever Bato did something for him unprovoked, it was out of love. And Bato grew to love the way that every time Hakoda reached for one of his hands, it meant a silent  _ thank you and I love you.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments !!


End file.
